I was once offered a job to edit an ebook on something like “How to marry a man who earns 10 million yen a year”. It wasn’t a subject I was keen to tackle, but I was curious to see what it was about, so I decided to take it on as a job.
I didn’t write the book from scratch. I had the original manuscript and my job was to edit and proofread it. Although I was not very enthusiastic at the beginning, the content was good enough. What the author was saying in the book was understandable and even interesting. I just couldn’t stop thinking why this kind of book would be popular amongst Japanese women.
Why do so many women want to marry a man with a high income? In my opinion, it’s because it is difficult for a woman — especially Japanese women — to create a high income by herself.
Even in the West, where women’s rights and gender equality are highly promoted, the barriers to women’s participation in society have not been completely removed. In Japan, it is even more so.
In the first place, women are not prepared to fight on the same field as men. — — If I wrote like this, some men may feel that we are blaming men for this. However, it is not only a men’s problem, but it is also a women’s issue. Often, the ones who hold back the women who want to advance their careers are also women, not only men.
When I was working in Hong Kong, some Japanese women, who had emigrated much earlier than me, told me; “A woman’s happiness is determined by her man”. It made me feel incredibly uncomfortable.
Why does a woman’s happiness depend on a man?
Certainly, as a couple, both partners influence each other mentally, socially and economically. However, I think that this is only the consequence of the relationship.
They want to marry a high-income man because they believe that a high-income man can make them happy, but who knows? I think it’s something wrong to think “This person will make me happy, that’s why I want to marry him,” because it means that you leave your happiness to others.
Honestly speaking, I have thought that my life would be easier if I marry a rich man when I was younger, but then I realised that if I chose my partner on the basis of conditions, I would not be able to be myself.
It may be a cruel fact, but let’s face it: there is no person existing in this world to make you happy. You are the only one who can make you happy.
When you stop expecting the other person to make you happy, you will find your own way. You are already aware of what you have to do to make yourself happy.
The only person who can make you happy is you.
Let’s start loving yourself and you can improve yourself to make yourself happier. And when you feel confident about who you are, the perfect partner will appear in front of you.
And at that moment, you will not think: “This person will make me happy”, but “I want to make him/her happy”.